The eyes have it!
A funny assortment of eye-related jokes that are sure to bring you plenty of laughter.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?” “No-eye-deer!”
- Patient: “Doc, I get a stabbing pain in my eye every time I take a sip of coffee."
Doctor: “Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
- At what elevation is your vision the best?
See Level.
- What did the eyeball say to the eyelid?
"I wish you wouldn't keep me in the dark!"
- Cop: “Let me know if you see the suspect with one eye.”
Bystander: “I already saw him run that way, but I was using both my eyes.
- Man 1: “I stopped seeing my girlfriend two days ago.”
Man 2: “Really? What happened?”
Man 1: “She accidentally poked me in the eyes.”
- Woman 1: “I used to date a man with a lazy eye.”
Woman 2: “Why did you stop?”
Woman 1: “He was seeing someone on the side.”
- Patient: “Doc, my eyes are really dry.”
Eye Doctor: “Here, smell this onion.”
Patient: “That made me cry!”
Eye Doctor: “Great, I pulled out the onion to make you moist your eyes.”
- How are your eye doctor and your teacher the same?
They both spend their days testing pupils!
- What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, there’s something that smells.
- What did the rat go to the optometrist for?
He was having issues with his retinas.
- What did the eyeball say when he was arrested?
I’ve been framed, officer.
- Why do programmers have perfect vision?
They can C++.
With that joke, eye am going to leave.
B-eye now!